I was going to write something nice today

As I woke up at 7 am today, I started rushing because I have to give a good mom impression to my neighbor: She runs a private pre-school/daycare and she let me enroll my son in the final days of April without money in advance or any other requisite. She knows I need to work. I bought some diapers, baby food, the school’s uniform and he was good to go to daycare.

The day went by pretty hectic. At 8 am I delivered an article to a Spanish website. A friend helps me with content in Spanish while I handle everything in English. I start writing about upholstered bedding and then research a job that is intimidating me but I’ll face anyway. Yesterday, a reporter from Buzzfeed spoke to me a little about my situation and the recent Generosity campaign I started and she was going to publish it today. It wasn’t what I expected but I raised some money thanks to that so I won’t complain. I thought maybe writing another blog post would be a good idea.

Yes, it still is a good idea but Venezuela won’t let me have any of those.

Twitter was a mess. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of my work and the situation here got pretty tense very quickly. All I could see in the news was reports of the Caracas’ subway stations closing, talk shows that went on how to deal with this country’s situation if it is affecting your health and so.

At noon, a Dutch reporter contacted me to request an interview about my Generosity campaign too. I thought that was going to be ignored but it seems like a lot of people had the same thoughts I did and we became a curious topic to be talked about in the news.

After that everything started to crumble.

When I hung up my interview, I saw the report of the young student Juan Pablo Pernalete, who was only 20 years old, shot dead with tear gas in the chest.

This death, like many other ones during these protests, hurts deeply because of the vulnerability of the victim. Juan Pablo could have been my student, he was somebody’s student, son, friend. All those people would have to cry him while his death is being tainted with politics and no justice is made.

I had to finish my work anyways. The Spaniards, the Brits and my new Dominican client can’t wait for me, and neither do my family’s needs. No matter how bad you feel after a day of political tension, life goes on and the ones who survive have to lead the battle.

I was going to write something nice but I got tired of living in Venezuela

As I was putting my baby to sleep and thinking about what I was going to write, the power went off and with it went my motivation. As always, trying to survive here sucked the life out of me. I made my baby laugh, I made dinner for my family, I was able to help friends but still, my soul has a hole that can’t be filled at this time. Only rest would cool things off for tomorrow.

We all hope this situation has a happy ending but not many Venezuelans would carry that thought all the way to the end.

I started a Generosity campaign to be able to save money and get out of here. No matter how much I love the region I was born in, it sucks the life out of anyone who cares.

We want peace. We want a future. We need hope. We will keep fighting.

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